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You also must have developed the ability to actively listen.
“Active Listening” is a way of absorbing who a person is, by the things they say.
Being an effective and “wise” dater requires that you balance several separate issues.
You must be assured of your own emotional health and have created a list of qualities that you want and don’t want in a relationship partner.
It’s about asking questions and empathizing with their answers.
This type of listening is the best way to quickly determine if the person sitting across from you is a good potential mate.
When you do, you can learn enough during the first date to decide if this is a relationship that should move ahead. It is also important for singles to focus on the other person during the first few dates.
Becoming an Expert Observer The best way to get the maximum information from someone is to get them talking and then listen.Often times the most basic questions like, “Do you like your job? If someone spends 15 minutes explaining how they hate their job but cannot seem to leave, you can discern some very valuable information about their level of day to day happiness.Tell Me About Yourself During a first date, volumes of personal information are exchanged.As a person talks about their life, they reveal what sort of people they have as friends, what their hobbies are, their level of responsibility, their anger level, their opinions on the opposite sex, and on and on.These clues are usually wrapped inside stories or observations, but to the person who is focused on listening, they are loud and clear. This fact-finding attitude doesn’t mean that you “interview” your date, firing question after question to see if they make muster.
It is usually best to arrange for a first date to be in setting where you can spend unlimited time talking and sharing. Rather, in the course of natural conversation, be aware of what is being revealed.