Dating someone in a 12 step program Canadian adult dating bbs
Romantic relationships can be appealing because they can temporarily numb pain we may feel from facing our personal hardships, behaviors and past.
Cultivating love, respect, and care for yourself is the key to establishing healthy and lasting relationships down the road.
They may initially feel great, but it doesn’t take long before we find ourselves slipping into old patterns, habits and behaviors.
It also becomes very difficult to sort out what are my issues to work on and what are someone else’s.
The focus of early recovery should be laying a strong foundation for long-term sobriety and this involves searching deep within ourselves.
Personal reflection and self-analysis is an important step to knowing ourselves and learning to accept and love ourselves.
You can truly only love someone to the extent that you love yourself.
Recovery is essentially about finding and loving yourself and this cannot be achieved through dating another person.
People involved in 12-step programs often rely on the “one-year rule” for guidance.Our work to understand ourselves can be undermined or become convoluted if our efforts are distracted by a budding romance.New romances are not only distracting they can quickly become all-consuming.People sometimes are lulled into thinking they are healthier because they are in a new relationship, but there is no short cut to becoming healthy. Early recovery can be the most uncomfortable time period of our lives because our attachment for coping with the world (our drug) has been stripped away.In other words, it is recommended that someone not date during their first year of recovery.
Because there is a lot of resistance to this guideline and the results from dating can be detrimental to one’s sobriety, let’s look at some of the important reasons WHY dating during the first year of recovery is not advised.